When You Are All Set Up To Fail
In Pygmalion, the rain in Spain fell mainly on the plains. And all you had to do was improve on your manners and you were socially acceptable. It describes best, the dynamic in which the individual lives up to expectations.
The ‘set up to fail’ syndrome is not only the exact opposite, it has become an unfortunate norm for online marketers. The cause and effect can run on two fronts. One, the person feeling or made to feel, they do not know the work and building a failure complex on taking this for granted as so.
Thus ‘set up to fail’ becomes a condition used to describe situations in which persons put themselves where they cannot possible succeed. Either unrealistic expectations of self or their abilities, or are naive and uninformed.
Thus the negative spiral of expectations, expecting to fail, or an unwarranted fear of failure, becomes a failure neurosis that sets them up for the second front.
The second front is YOU, the sponsor, boss, mentor, guide. While you may not intentionally set out to create a failure complex, you can do so easily by creating and reinforcing a dynamic that essentially sets up perceived under performers to fail.
Ms. Tuff AZ Nales cracks that whip!
Is there an expectation you feel you failed to live up to? Did you miss a deadline? Or perhaps feel you under performed in a necessary action?
Since I do not exclude myself from surreptitiously creating error scenarios, I will often point the finger at me first. What could I do that was different in approach that set a good standard of expectations that encourages reaching?
Here is where we all jump in with both feet and are about to land on a very sharp stake. When that feeling is set in motion, our people tend to withdraw. Some even leave without notice or explanation.
Withdrawl seems to prove your point they are under achievers or need personal help. They don’t ask – which they must own, while you take for granted,what you offer, will help them. You don’t know. You could be driving the final nail in the coffin of them leaving.
While the sponsor, leader, guide, mentor actions are intended to boost performance and encourage the reach for better results, the ‘victim’ too often interprets the heightened attention as a lack of trust and confidence in them.
The danger here, lies in their low expectations of self thus they lose motivation to make autonomous decisions or to take any action at all. If they feel you will only tear apart their opinion or actions then they figure they might as well let you do it yourself.
For their part, the subordinate shuts down, or leaves, either in dismay, frustration or anger. Not a good scene all round.
Rather than make the ‘set up to fail’ syndrome a self-fulfilling prophecy, it might be better to set the bar of expectations low enough to allow a new person or regular member to follow your lead, feel encouraged to ask questions, and find themselves praised for their efforts.
When you read this, be careful. You can always find someone to fit the conditions. Do NOT judge or put someone in that spot. That is blatantly creating the negative spiral you always need to be on the look out to prevent.
As Dale Carnegie so aptly recognized, ‘when dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion’ and that goes for you too.
Thanks for reading …
Fran Klasinski – warriorlady
Mentoring you with common sense
Marketing with finesse